Displaced Montrealer: September 2007

Landed in Vietnam's capitol appropriately shell shocked from Hong Kong's late night offerings. A mini-bus (a Toyota van) packed with 9 other people and their luggage delivered us to town; the sliding doors released us into a frenzy of smiling hawkers offering us everything from motorcycles to massages. At first the city filled me with anxiety reminiscent only of the time I tried asking out the high school hottie, but after spending 7 USD for a nice hotel room and sipping on a refreshing mango shake my lucidity slowly set in. The city offers numerous French inspired cafes for the much necessary escape from the cities cacophony and bullying pace set by the millions of scooters and bikes that cut the city into blocks of comically tall narrow bright buildings of pseudo-colonial influence (I just made that up, but it sounds right).

We walked the streets of Hanoi, literally, since sidewalks don't really exist here and if so are used for scooter parking or as terrace space for steamy street food vendors who set out miniature patio sets – less the parasols – to serve the local wonton soups and spring rolls. I was impressed with all the manual labor that women do here: the streets are populated with women see-saw balancing goods on a stick across their shoulders offering fruit and such with a smiling face obstructed by a shadow cast by their characteristic conical straw hats – women here do not like the sun and strive to be as white as possible, kind of like Sasha; however they do expect men to have some color as proof of certain work.

Inspired (since my travel insurance finally went through), I rented a motorbike for a day and tried to conquer the city. I was told that I have death wish. I made myself a promise to not use the horn, just to prove that it is sourly abused in this town and successful I was. The whole experience was very analogous to playing a videogame where you try to not get hit by the bigger vehicles while not killing the pedestrians who put their fate in your fumbling hands by crossing the street, in midst of traffic, at a slow pace looking straight ahead. Other than some irregular heartbeats caused by bus drivers with no concept of a blind spot I came out unscathed (probably did shorten my life by all the inhaled fumes though).

We escaped the city for a 2 day trip to Halong Bay. The water here was studded by these jagged massive rock islands that look like giant shark wisdom teeth, a surreal sight. We took a tour boat with a group out to the bay and meandered between these islands. Even here little boats of hagglers would grab onto our boat, all so pirate-like, and try to sell us some freshly caught seafood. We turned a corner around one giant tooth to find a floating parking lot of kayaks awaiting us. The rest of the afternoon was spent letting the sun kiss my white ass body – a golden boy I emerged. We slept on the boat and again awoke to our lecherous sun, diving of the boat and frolicking in the water ensued.

We made our way down the coast to Hoi An, something of a beach city with an unnatural concentration of tailors. Unfortunately the weather turned sour and we spent our time indulging in the local restaurants and getting suits made to fit every ripple of this body made for pleasure. Got a bike again and explored our surroundings while Sash clutched on for dear life. The beach is actually stunning even with grey skies. As the rain caused the river to spill onto the front of our favorite restaurant we figured it was our queue to go.

A 16 hour train ride brought us to Saigon, an even greater metropolis than the capitol. We checked out the claustrophobic tunnel network used during the war and went for a day to Mekong delta on a jungle-like boat trip drinking rice, banana, and snake wine. There is a lot of westerners around but the city lacks style and warmth, haven't really connected with it. Have been entertained by this gay couple we met and 2 Israeli sisters traveling together for the first time and not getting along.